Happiness & the Body

+

Used with Permission from Cathy Thorne

Now before you get too confused, this isn't a post about Elle Macpherson. Rather, it's a long overdue reflection about my changing body. I look at my 8 month old son and I'm flabbergasted that my body not only helped to create him, but it housed and grew him for 9 crazy months. My pregnancy-memories are fading fast but sadly that's not the only thing disappearing. Gone are the days of a perky, elastic and unblemished pre-baby bod. Naturally, you don't create another human being without paying some physical costs. Other Mothers had tried to warn me about this. There was talk in the tea room about "How your body will never be the same again", usually accompanied by sad, almost regretful faces. Yet in the rosy-bliss of my pregnancy, I didn't pay too much attention because I wanted to enjoy my growing belly rather than stress about what would come later.

Now don't get me wrong. I have no urge to run to Myer and purchase the latest "age-defying miracle cream" or to "reclaim the glory of my youth" through plastic surgery. I accept that these changes naturally occurred so that I could bring my beautiful son into the world. But I'm also going to allow myself the time to grieve. In a way, I'm saying goodbye to certain aspects of a body that was once so familiar and instead, learning to live with new "body-mates". Goodbye butt. My body gladly gave up the fat stores when I breastfed but for some unknown reason, decided to hang onto the fat stores in my thighs & belly. Goodbye boobs. Not only are they smaller post-breastfeeding, but they're softer and actually need a bra when previously, it had been mostly decorative. And Hello Stretch Marks. I'm a Mummy-Scout who has earnt her stripes of honour, marking my passage into another phase of womanhood.
 
It's times like these that I'm so grateful for my Buddhist practice. Buddhism encourages me to think deeply about how everything in this world is impermanent, people and their bodies included. It doesn't matter how beautiful, famous, young or old you are; none of us are immune to aging and ultimately death. And as morbid as these reflections are, it really invited me to think about my body potential.

We know all too well the emphasis our society & social media places on a beautiful body. The message in TV Ads always seems to be: Buy this, it'll make you feel beautiful and then you'll finally be Happy! But is that really so? I did some thinking about the relationship between body and happiness. Looking back at my life so far, when my body was at its most "beautiful", was when I was 18 and deeply depressed. I had no appetite because of my depression and I was regularly doing pilates, because it was easier to lose myself in exercise than face the gray storms of my mind. Since then, I've discovered mental stability and happiness with the help of Buddhism. And while my body may not be "beautiful" by the strange standards of magazines or TV, I'm sure as hell happier and building richer relationships with the people around me.

Let's face it. I'll probably never look as hot as those nude women on Game of Thrones (honestly though, did I ever look as hot as those women?!) but thankfully, I don't require a sexy body to make a living or to be a fantastic wife / Mum / human being full stop! I do require a healthy body to sustain my life for as long as possible and to set an active example for my children. And if I truly want to nurture the qualities of wisdom, compassion, kindness & understanding in my son, then I better do my homework and cultivate those qualities in myself and quit wasting my life dreaming of an "ideal" body I could or might otherwise have. Let's hang up the body blues and do something constructive. Eat in moderation and with balance. Set aside time each day to exercise. And most importantly, spend the day connecting and loving the people around me.